Adventist belief breakdown: Belief 2

In which I snarkily list unspoken underlying beliefs of Adventist Belief 2 out of 28. I overuse Wikipedia as a source.

Adventist Belief Breakdown, belief 2

Belief 1 is snarked here.(https://talesfromacult.substack.com/p/adventist-belief-breakdown-belief)

All beliefs are from the official Seventh-Day Adventist Church website, Adventist.org. https://www.adventist.org/beliefs/

Per their website, Adventists reserve the right to change or update beliefs.

Therefore, this page is archived here: https://web.archive.org/web/20240127045827/https://www.adventist.org/beliefs/

Seventh-Day Adventist's 28 Fundamental Beliefs, snarked.

Belief 2. The Trinity

"There is one God: Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, a unity of three coeternal Persons."

Unspoken underlying beliefs: There is an immortal being. We Adventist humans call this being god. Of all the world's gods, and all the world's holy books about gods, only the 66 book Protestant Christian Bible and its god is the actual god.

On the history of Adventists believing in the Trinity: We Adventists decided to 100% believe in the Trinity in 1957 via a book called Questions On Doctrine. This was definitely because of The Leading Of The Holy Spirit, and has absolutely nothing to do with trying to fit in with mainstream Protestant churches.

Prior to that, we Adventists debated if the Trinity was Truth. James White, husband of  our plagiarizing prophetess Ellen White, didn't believe in the Trinity. We don't bother telling folks this. https://www.adventistbiblicalresearch.org/wp-content/uploads/Trinity-in-SDA-History.pdf

God is created of three beings, how exactly we don't know, it is ineffable, to borrow a phrase from Aziraphale in the book Good Omens. Don't waste your time trying to understand ineffability. It's a pretty word used to make one stop thinking.

"God is immortal, all-powerful, all-knowing, above all, and ever present."

Unspoken underlying beliefs: The one true god of the Protestant 66 book version of the Bible has and will always exist.

This god:

• can do anything

• knows everything

• is "above all", which we don't define in this sentence. We probably mean god is the most powerful being and everyone is socially lower than this god. We also might mean god is in heaven which is "above" the earth, in Orion's Belt, per our plagiarizing prophetess Ellen White.

• is always everywhere

We hand-wave all the horrible things that all-powerful god doesn't stop using words like "free will" and "effects of sin" and "god works in mysterious ways".

"He is infinite and beyond human comprehension, yet known through His self-revelation."

Unspoken underlying beliefs:

First, god’s pronouns are he/his, capitalized when we feel like it.

Second, we use the words “infinite and beyond human comprehension” to handwave away the things that don't make sense, like the Trinity. You can't understand god. He's ineffable.

Except you can understand some of god at least, if you listen to our interpretation of the 66 book Protestant Bible, plus read the myriads of writings by our plagiarizing prophetess Ellen White. We, God's Last True Church, have The Spirit of Prophecy. This is a phrase we like from Revelations that we use as code for both "Ellen White" and "Ellen White said".

God communicates to humans by the Bible and via our plagiarizing prophetess, Ellen White.

God's First Book, nature: Ellen White says god communicates to humans through the "book of nature". Some more creative Adventist pastors call nature God's First Book. Beware! One can only learn what is Truth in nature from an Adventist perspective our interpretation of what the 66 book Protestant Bible says.

A lesson to NOT learn from the book of nature: We Adventists definitely know homosexuality is a sin because about three Bible clobber verses. Now, there's homosexuality in the book of nature. This homosexual behaviors in either "a few species of animals, because only genital contact equals homosexuality" per neuroscientist Simon LeVay, or there's 450 animal species noted in 1999 doing suspiciously homosexual things, or over 1500 homosexual animal species in 2019. Clearly homosexual behaviors in animal species has drastically increased between 1999 and 2019. This is a Sign of the End Times.

Source on gay animals: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Homosexual_behavior_in_animals

Source on End Times aka The Gentle Author’s hilarious joke: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_dates_predicted_for_apocalyptic_events

Anyways, homosexuality is Against The Bible, thus A Sin,  and from Satan, even though animals homosexual behaviors. Do not take THAT behavior as The Truth from the book of nature. It just goes to prove that Satan's influence is everywhere--even between two male penguins in the boondocks of Antarctica raising a baby penguin together.

All together--The Spirit of Prophecy, and our interpretation of the 66 book Protestant Bible, and our interpretation of the book of nature--this stuff is "his self-revelation".

“God, who is love, is forever worthy of worship, adoration, and service by the whole creation."

Unspoken underlying beliefs: We paraphrase the Bible verse saying "God is love", AND also god committed genocide against the Egyptians, had the Israelites commit genocide, provided a recipe for priest-aided abortion, killed David and Bathsheba's firstborn, and tons of other things The Gentle Author doesn't feel like writing about. But god is love.

Our loving god will resurrect all humans on the last day of earth, then force every human to bow down to him and say “Yes, god you told us so”. After that, god in his great mercy will burn the formerly dead humans to death if they didn't already worship him.

Therefore god is "worthy of worship, adoration and service". And we Adventists say "the whole creation" is to “worship, adore, and service” god, but we don't say how. Pretty sure god doesn't want worship, adoration, nor service from any practicing homosexual animals.

(Gen. 1:26; Deut. 6:4; Isa. 6:8; Matt. 28:19; John 3:16; 2 Cor. 1:21, 22; 13:14; Eph. 4:4-6; 1 Peter 1:2.)

These verses you probably won't look up are us virtue signaling that we know and use the Bible to make up our beliefs. Go us!

Someone amongst us knew the Johannine Comma, aka the Bible verses that most obviously state the Trinity is a thing, is considered by most as written after 400 CE. So we don't use 1 John 5:7-8 (“in heaven, the Father, the Word, and the Holy Ghost: and these three are one”) in this list. Go us. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Johannine_Comma