One chart, one comic, one belief statement
They're all related, in that Adventists, like in the comic, say they're THE church that "finally got the Bible right". Uh, then hopefully slightly coherent rant.
The first image is a comprehensive chart from here: https://usefulcharts.com/products/christian-denominations-family-tree
Can you find the Seventh-day Adventist church on it?
The comic is what Adventists are taught. Unironically.
And this is the pretty language that the Seventh-day Adventist church uses to say: “We are the last church with the final Truth. Eventually everyone will have to be converted to Adventism, or get burned to death when Jesus returns.”
And this was supposed to be the entire post. Then I rant-wrote the rest, so read at your own risk.
Side-note: See the out-of-context Bible verses in those parenthesis? Pulling Bible texts out of context and mushing them all together is called “proof-texting”. Much of Adventist dogma is “proved” by proof-texting.
Now the proof-text for why it's totally fine to proof text with zero regard for context is Isaiah 28:10: “For precept must be upon precept, precept upon precept; line upon line, line upon line; here a little, and there a little:”.
Someone made a song for that verse. It lives rent-free in my brain forever.
This verse itself is proof-texted. In context, just three verses later, it says: “But the word of the Lord was unto them precept upon precept, precept upon precept; line upon line, line upon line; here a little, and there a little; that they might go, and fall backward, and be broken, and snared, and taken.”
So if I'm reading that right, it's about people who use the precept upon precept proof texting?? I'm not sure what that “broken snared and taken” part means. Perhaps it is a verse against proof-texting?? The interpretation will vary depending on how one interprets scripture.
Folks who know about fundamentalist Christianity will know that “The Remnant Church” is a title many fundamentalist Christian denominations claim. Adventists know they're the 100% REAL Remnant tho.
The word “remnant” occurs 205 times in the King James Version, and Romans 11:5 is commonly quoted: “Even so then at this present time also there is a remnant according to the election of grace.”
Remnant is Christianese for “We are the one church that has the last Truth in these End Times”.
I was taught Romans 11:5 means:
At this present time = whatever time I read that verse, so like, now
There is a remnant = Adventists are the remnant
The election of grace = God’s final true church
Therefore putting all the pieces together, Romans 11:5 means “God’s final true church is Adventism today!” Buuuut there's ALSO the original meaning of the verse, aka, per Wikipedia entry on Romans 11: “Chapter 11 concludes the section of the letter in which "St. Paul teaches us about the eternal providence of God"[3] with particular reference to the election of a chosen people, Israel (Romans 9:11),[4]who have become disobedient (Romans 11:31),[5] and in whose place a remnanthave been chosen (Romans 11:5) [6] and grafted into place.”
So God had Paul write that verse to CE 50 Romans AND Seventh-day Adventists in particular. Nice of God. Much foresight. Too bad He didn't teach the Christians, say, germ theory too.
Much was made in Adventist sermons of “when a bolt of cloth (read: At a fabric store, cloth is stored wound around a thin rectangular cardboard box. The whole thing is called a ‘bolt of cloth’.) is unwound, the last part left is *also the first cloth on the bolt!* So therefore, we remnant church, we Adventists, are just like the first Christians!”
Being like The First Christians is a Big Effing Deal. It's assumed the church was more pure, more authentic, more giving, more miraculous, more better than anything now. Except Adventists, they're just as awesome.
Narrator: They are not like the first Christians. First Christians had tons of different opinions on things, not 28 Fundamental Beliefs like Adventists. First Christians ate real meat, not veggie meat. First Christians drank alcoholic wine if they wanted to. Adventists don't. Some early Christians freaked the heck out of Roman leaders by martyring themselves on purpose. Adventists don't, thanks be upon the gods. I shall end this post here before this list of differences becomes a huger wall of texts.