Seventh-day Adventist belief breakdown: belief 11 of 28

The Seventh-day Adventist Church has 28 fundamental beliefs. I list the underlying unspoken beliefs whilst snarking as possible. Belief 11 is "Growing in Christ".

All beliefs are from the official Seventh-day Adventist Church website, Adventist.org. https://www.adventist.org/beliefs/

Per their website, Adventists reserve the right to change or update beliefs.

Therefore, this page is archived here: https://web.archive.org/web/20240127045827/https://www.adventist.org/beliefs/

Links to all prior snarked beliefs are available at the bottom of this post.

On to belief 11:

11. Growing in Christ

By His death on the cross, Jesus triumphed over the forces of evil.

Unspoken underlying assumptions: There is an immortal nonhuman Thing that made everything, knows everything, can do everything. Nothing made this Thing. Humans call this Thing “god”. Of all the gods believed in by humans on planet earth, only the one of the Protestant form of the Christian religion is the real god. All other gods are demons or Satan or myths. (See below for Satan and demons info.)

Super handy list of demonic Satan myth gods for the curious here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_deities_by_classification

So this god has laws that all beings must obey because unstated reasons. Disobeying these laws created a thing called “sin” because unstated reasons. Sin causes death, cancer, thistles, miscarriages, everything bad on planet earth because unstated reasons. This is totally fair and merciful. Also god had zero other options besides make this happen.

This god made immortal beings called angels including one called Satan who rebelled against god’s laws because unstated reasons. God kicked him out of wherever the angels and god lived, which is a perfect place called heaven. Per Ellen White the Adventist plagiarizing prophetess, heaven is in Orion’s Belt.

“…we could look up through the open space in Orion, whence came the voice of God. The Holy City will come down through that open space.” Source: https://m.egwwritings.org/en/book/28.326

Satan hangs out on earth with a bunch of former angels who also rebelled, now called demons. Demons and Satan are what the belief means by “forces of evil”. Satan is evil and god is good. Together they fight over where humans end up after humans die or god brings heaven back to planet earth, whichever comes first. Humans only end up in heaven or in Adventist hell (resurrected from dead, then burned to death by god).

Also god made humans and the entire world and everything in exactly seven literal days. All evidence to contrary is from Satan.

God made two immortal humans. Satan tempted them to disobey god. So because those two humans sinned, all the bad everything happened and now humans, plants, animals, microbes, all suffer and die because unstated reasons.

Also this god made humans write a book about all of this to talk to humans. Of all the holy books on planet earth, only the Protestant 66-book version of the Bible is the right holy book.

Those curious about other Bible versions can start here: https://www.historyinthebible.com/supplementary_pages/books-of-the-bible.html

Those curious about other holy books can start here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_religious_texts

So god is one god and comes in thirds because unstated reasons. This is called the Trinity. Adventists decided to believe in the Trinity between 1910 and 1950. Before that they argued about it. The SDA plagiarizing prophetess Ellen White’s husband didn't believe in the Trinity. https://www.adventistbiblicalresearch.org/wp-content/uploads/Trinity-in-SDA-History.pdf

One third of god is a human-god hybrid called “Jesus” who existed on planet earth about 2000 years ago. Jesus’s pronouns are “he/him”.

He lived a perfectly sinless life, sacrificed himself to the other 2/3rds of god because sin exists and requires death because unstated reasons, and died on a cross. Then he rose from the dead and now lives in heaven in Constellation Orion’s Belt.

Humans can tell god they believe Jesus died for their sins, and god will forgive their sins because Jesus died. This is called “getting saved” or “born again”. Only Protestant Christians have to be born again, not Catholic Christians.

After being born again, the person can go to heaven after they die or after god brings heaven to planet earth, whichever comes first.

He who subjugated the demonic spirits

Translation: Demons can take over human bodies because unstated reasons. This is called “demon possession”. Jesus cured multiple demon possessed humans while on planet earth. These demon possessed people did things like throw their bodies into fires, other self harm, live in cemeteries. It definitely was always demons, never ever mental illness or seizures.

Humans can still be demon possessed and if they are they did something to “invite that demon in”. Some things that “invite demons” include listening to rock and roll, playing Dungeons and Dragons, listening to syncopated music, possessing statues of other gods besides the Protestant Christian god, possessing tarot cards, having one’s fortune told, being Pagan, practicing yoga, being Catholic, reading horoscopes, visiting nonSDA churches, reading about non-Christian gods, masturbation, meditation, mental illness, doubting the Seventh-day Adventist religion, eating pork products, suffering unwanted intrusive thoughts, desiring to do anything in this list, and doing anything that god “has convicted you is a sin”.

Being “convicted” that something is a sin means the person feels shame and guilt when they do the thing. This means god doesn’t want them to do the thing, and the shame and guilt is definitely, always god’s psychically convincing that person that doing the thing is a sin and absolutely is never caused by other humans shaming and guilting that person for doing morally neutral and/or developmentally normal healthy things. That's correct; religious scrupulosity is god's talking to the person psychically and not a mental illness.

Now, if another Christian feels no guilt or shame for doing the thing, then it’s not a sin for that person. God has different rules for each person because unstated reasons. This is fair and just.

Now, if a person follows their conscience (read: stops doing the things they feel shame and guilt for, even if the things are morally neutral and/or developmentally appropriate), then eventually they'll become Seventh-day Adventist.

during His earthly ministry has broken their power and made certain their ultimate doom.

Translation:  Because the 1/3 of god called Jesus lived a perfect sinless life on earth and sacrificed himself to the other 2/3rds of god to pay the death penalty for all the humans’ sins, Jesus has guaranteed that god will win the war over where humans end up after they die—whether that’s Adventist hell (resurrected then burned to death) or immortal with god in heaven. Jesus’s dying and resurrection means god will eventually kill Satan and all the demons.

Now, per the Adventist plagiarizing prophetess Ellen White, the angels and demons AND a whole bunch of aliens that god made are watching planet earth and thought that Satan was maybe correct to rebel against god. But when Satan ensured that sinless Jesus was killed on the cross, those aliens and angels were like “Holy fuck, damnation and hell, Satan is an evil bastard! We don't want him in charge of us!”

Those angels and sinless aliens sure were slow to realize Satan was a baddie. You'd think the first death in childbirth after humans sinned would have taught them that.

“Again the sinless inhabitants of other worlds beheld the results of Satan's apostasy, and the kind of government he would have established in heaven had he been permitted to bear sway.” https://m.egwwritings.org/en/book/84.1479?hl=Sinless+other+worlds&ss=eyJ0b3RhbCI6NjQsInBhcmFtcyI6eyJxdWVyeSI6IlNpbmxlc3Mgb3RoZXIgd29ybGRzIiwidHlwZSI6ImJhc2ljIiwibGFuZyI6ImVuIiwibGltaXQiOjIwfSwiaW5kZXgiOjh9#1503

Sorry for above long link. So Ellen White the plagiarizing prophetess insists only Satan ensuring Jesus died was the thing that taught those dense, slow-learning sinless aliens that Satan is baddie. Also somehow Jesus sacrificed himself AND Satan killed Jesus AND the Romans killed Jesus. Hope that's clear as mud for you.

“Satan saw that his disguise [of rightfully rebelling against god] was torn away [after Jesus died]. His administration was laid open before the unfallen angels and before the heavenly universe. He had revealed himself as a murderer. By shedding the blood of the Son of God, he had uprooted himself from the sympathies of the heavenly beings. Henceforth his work was restricted.” https://ssnet.org/lessons/19a/less08.html

Best as I can understand from SDA Bible study, Satan’s now “restricted” to only exist on planet earth now. Before he and the Romans killed Jesus, Satan could wander off to heaven and play with god over humans, like what happened to Job. God and Satan bet over what Job would do and god let Satan kill all Job’s kids for said bet. This is loving and just.

Since Jesus died, Satan is now stuck on planet earth.

Adventists teach that demons still have powers and totes possess people today. Per their February 16-22 2019 Sabbath School study, Satan’s doubled down to do the badness now he knows he’s totes lost.

“Satan still has limited power to harm God’s people on earth, but it is with a realization that “he has a short time” left (Rev. 12:12, NKJV). Although his time is indeed “short”, he is doing all that he can to cause pain, suffering, and havoc here.” https://ssnet.org/lessons/19a/less08.html

Per Ellen White the Adventist plagiarizing prophetess, Satan and other demons do some pretty wild stuff here on planet earth. This includes impersonating deceased Union generals during the American Civil War to fool living Union generals into making poor battle decisions, taking human form to fool people into not believing Adventist doctrine, giving some humans supernatural powers, possessing human bodies, causing humans to strike at work, and converting one Mr. Hull from Adventism to Spiritualism. RIP Mr. Hull. https://digitalcommons.andrews.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1302&context=jams

Jesus’ victory gives us victory over the evil forces that still seek to control us,

Translation: Demons are real and still attack and try to possess and trick and deceive you so do not trust your own perceptions. You are easily deceived because Bible verse phrases we Adventists quote at you. Do not trust yourself.

Also yes Jesus has “broken their [demon and Satan’s] power” but demons and Satan are real and still do terrible things so stay afraid and vigilant and don't do anything on that long list of things that “invite demons in”.

as we walk with Him in peace, joy, and assurance of His love.

Translation: Yes, beware demons and Satan and trusting your own senses, but we Adventists are full of peace, hope, and love. If you aren't, you're doing something wrong. Try praying and veganing more.

Now the Holy Spirit dwells within us and empowers us.

Translation: So one of the 3/3rds of god called the Holy Spirit lives on planet earth right now. He lives inside all Adventists, functions as their conscience, and helps them stop doing things they feel guilt and shame doing.

They can't do anything without the Holy Spirit, because Bible verses phrases. It’s all the Holy Spirit’s doing, even when it’s an extraordinarily difficult thing that takes lots of human effort, like quitting addictions.

This bullshit teaching undermines human accomplishment, encourages Adventists to under-estimate their own abilities and deflect compliments, and helps them feel they are never ever good enough.

This means it's smart to hire a true believing Adventist tradesperson like my Dad because they’ll probably undercharge for their services and do a good job out of fear that they aren't good enough. The trick is finding the true believers, not the con artists nor the pedophiles. Good luck. If it's anything like my Dad, the good cheap tradesperson is buddies with the pedophile.

Continually committed to Jesus as our Saviour and Lord, we are set free from the burden of our past deeds. 

Translation: Always continuously ask Jesus into your heart. This will make you feel free. If that doesn’t work, Jesus harder and be vegan. If that doesn't work, do it again harder.

No longer do we live in the darkness, fear of evil powers, ignorance, and meaninglessness of our former way of life.

Translation: Once a human becomes born again, they are no longer afraid of demons. Even though demons can possess people, impersonate Union generals, and have other “limited powers”. And Satan’s out to wreak all the havoc he can. But once saved you won't be afraid anymore!

Also however you lived before Adventism was “ignorance and meaningless”. Your life only has meaning if you're Adventist, apparently.

In this new freedom in Jesus, we are called to grow into the likeness of His character,

Translation: Try very very hard to not do things that you feel shame and guilt for. Don't forget that Jesus himself said thinking about having sex is a sin on par with cheating on your spouse. So thought crimes are a thing too. Don't think bad thoughts!

communing with Him daily in prayer,

Translation: Pray to god every day.

feeding on His Word,

Translation: Read the Bible every day.

meditating on it

Translation: Think about the Bible daily. Other forms of meditation invite demons in.

and on His providence,

Translation: Keep a list of all the good things that happen to you and think about it daily.

singing His praises,

Translation: Sing Bible verse songs, hymns, praise songs daily. Beware of syncopation because that invites demons in.

gathering together for worship,

Translation: Go to Adventist church.

Note that daily prayer, Bible reading, Christian song singing, thinking about god and Bible verses, and going to church is common Fundamentalist Christian advice for fixing all the things. This is called “Jesusing” in the excellent exvangelical blog, Roll To Disbelieve. Doing all of these things also works as thought stopping techniques, which can temporarily alleviate anxiety.

Fundamentalists Christians like Adventists teach Jesusing harder to cure everything from cancer to declining church attendance numbers. How long one should Jesus harder and when one should try other things if Jesusing harder doesn’t fix the things? Never said.

and participating in the mission of the Church. 

Translation: Go try to convert people to Adventism. Once the whole world has heard about Adventism, then Jesus can bring heaven back to planet earth from Constellation Orion’s Belt.

We are also called to follow Christ’s example by compassionately ministering to the physical, mental, social, emotional, and spiritual needs of humanity.

Translation: These words justify all Adventist hospital conglomerates, all Adventist education schools and universities, every Adventist outreach grift and things that do actual good. Adventists must do everything and fix everything. Being a proper Adventist will fix most, if not all, things wrong in your life.

As we give ourselves in loving service to those around us and in witnessing to His salvation, His constant presence with us through the Spirit transforms every moment and every task into a spiritual experience. 

Translation: Are you doing good things? It's really god, not you. Don't you forget that.

(1 Chron. 29:11; Ps. 1:1, 2; 23:4; 77:11, 12; Matt. 20:25-28; 25:31-46; Luke 10:17-20; John 20:21; Rom. 8:38, 39; 2 Cor. 3:17, 18; Gal. 5:22-25; Eph. 5:19, 20; 6:12-18; Phil. 3:7-14; Col. 1:13, 14; 2:6, 14, 15; 1 Thess. 5:16-18, 23; Heb. 10:25; James 1:27; 2 Peter 2:9; 3:18; 1 John 4:4.)

And here’s the long list of cherry-picked mushed-together Bible verses to totally prove to Biblically inclined humans that Adventist theology is 100% Biblical. This is called virtue signaling.

End snark of belief 11.

Why The Gentle Author calls Ellen Gould White “the Adventist plagiarizing prophetess”: Test The Prophet first defines “plagiarism” using sources from the American Victorian Eta. Then he shows original books published in the Victorian Era that Ellen White plagiarized from. Then he shows the these writings in Ellen White’s books, where she claims they were her visions from god. https://www.youtube.com/@TesttheProphet

Why The Gentle Author says Young Earth Creationism is pseudoscience: One can find an exhaustive list of Young Earth Creationism claims debunked here. http://www.talkorigins.org/indexcc/

I was taught about 80% of these claims as fact by the Adventist church. It continues to spread this pseudoscience as “real science” to thousands of SDA students. This hamstrings a students’ knowledge of reliable sources, critical thinking, value of peer-reviewed studies, and primes one to view anecdotes and conspiracy theories as valid “factual evidence”. This contributes to one falling for other pseudoscience, multi-level marketing scams, and actively harming themselves and their children by anti-vaccine and anti-science actions.

All prior Seventh-day Adventist beliefs, snarked:

Belief 1, “Holy Scriptures”, is snarked here:

https://talesfromacult.substack.com/p/adventist-belief-breakdown-belief

Belief 2, “The Trinity”, is snarked here:

https://talesfromacult.substack.com/p/adventist-belief-breakdown-belief-91e

Belief 3, “God the Father”, is snarked here:

https://talesfromacult.substack.com/p/adventist-belief-breakdown-belief-961

Belief 4, “God the Son”, is snarked here:

https://talesfromacult.substack.com/p/adventist-belief-breakdown-belief-0d8

Belief 5, “God the Holy Spirit”, is snarked here:

https://talesfromacult.substack.com/p/seventh-day-adventist-belief-breakdown

Belief 6, “Creation”, is snarked here:

https://talesfromacult.substack.com/p/seventh-day-adventist-belief-breakdown-21d

Belief 7, “Nature of Humanity”, is snarked here:

https://talesfromacult.substack.com/p/seventh-day-adventist-belief-breakdown-e2c

Belief 8, “The Great Controversy”, is snarked here:

https://talesfromacult.substack.com/p/seventh-day-adventist-belief-breakdown-6db

Belief 9, “The Life, Death, and Resurrection of Christ”, is snarked here:

https://talesfromacult.substack.com/p/seventh-day-adventist-belief-breakdown-2d7

Belief 10, “The Experience of Salvation”, is snarked here:

https://talesfromacult.substack.com/p/seventh-day-adventist-belief-breakdown-562