Seventh-day Adventist Beliefs: The unabridged underlying mythology (from an immortal god creating angels to beginning of the Bible)

Adventists have 28 fundamental beliefs. Underlying and interwoven into these beliefs is a mythology. Here's the full mythology with sources. Contains embarrassingly long links for sources.

First, god: There is an immortal being. Humans call this being “god”. Adventists believe there is only one god, and his pronouns are he/him.

This god is all-knowing, all-loving, all-powerful. He knows the end from the beginning. Everything he does is fair, loving, and just.

All other deities believed in on planet earth are false gods, or from Satan, or actual demons, or silly stories humans made up. Which option is chosen depends on how hardcore the Adventist is. More on Satan and demons below.

If one wants to learn about these Satan-demon-false-gods-silly-human-stories, start here. There’s a bunch of them. The Gentle Author attempted to count them, gave up.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lists_of_deities

Next, heaven: God lives in a perfect deathless paradise called “heaven”.

Adventists presume god made heaven.

Heaven is currently in the constellation Orion, per the Adventist plagiarizing prophetess Ellen White.

“…we could look up through the open space in Orion, whence came the voice of God. The Holy City will come down through that open space.” Source: https://m.egwwritings.org/en/book/28.326

Next, sin: God has rules he wants all beings to live by. Disobeying his rules is called “sinning”. Sin has effects, called “effects of sin” or “consequences of sin” in Adventist-ese. Everything on planet earth that is unpleasant, painful, sad, plus suffering and death—all are “results of sin”.

Also, angels: God made immortal powerful beings called “angels”. They live with him in heaven.

Next, war in heaven: One angel rebelled against god, saying god's rules for living are unfair. This angel convinced 1/3 of all the angels that he was right. There was a huge war in heaven as to whether god’s rules were fair.

So god booted that angel and those 1/3 of angels the hell out of heaven. Now that angel is called “Satan” and his former-angel pals are called “demons”. They physically exist on planet earth and do evil.

Some unspecified time around now, God made sinless aliens: Per Ellen White the Adventist plagiarizing prophetess, there are “worlds unfallen” full of sinless aliens who watch planet earth:

These aliens come in all sizes. They were tempted to sin by Satan and did not sin.

“The inhabitants of the place were of all sizes; they were noble, majestic, and lovely. They bore the express image of Jesus, and their countenances beamed with holy joy, expressive of the freedom and happiness of the place. I asked one of them why they were so much more lovely than those on the earth. The reply was, “We have lived in strict obedience to the commandments of God, and have not fallen by disobedience, like those on the earth.”” https://m.egwwritings.org/en/book/128.2528?hl=I+was+given+wings&ss=eyJ0b3RhbCI6MjQ2LCJwYXJhbXMiOnsicXVlcnkiOiJJIHdhcyBnaXZlbiB3aW5ncyIsInR5cGUiOiJiYXNpYyIsImxhbmciOiJlbiIsImxpbWl0IjoyMH0sImluZGV4IjowfQ%3D%3D#2551

“The worlds unfallen and the heavenly angels had watched with intense interest as the conflict [between Christ and Satan] drew to its close [as Jesus died on the cross].” https://m.egwwritings.org/en/book/2.234?hl=Unfallen+worlds&ss=eyJ0b3RhbCI6NDgwLCJwYXJhbXMiOnsicXVlcnkiOiJVbmZhbGxlbiB3b3JsZHMiLCJ0eXBlIjoiYmFzaWMiLCJsYW5nIjoiZW4iLCJsaW1pdCI6MjB9LCJpbmRleCI6MX0%3D#257

And Satan goes around yelling to heaven and unfallen worlds how evil righteous Christians are: “In the presence of the unfallen worlds, in the presence of the universe of heaven, in the presence of the angry adversary who has painted them in robes of blackness and moral defilement, urging that they be given into his hands, Jesus answered Satan's malignant charge whereby he accused them before God day and night.” https://m.egwwritings.org/en/book/9.1440?hl=Unfallen+worlds+watch&ss=eyJ0b3RhbCI6NDQsInBhcmFtcyI6eyJxdWVyeSI6IlVuZmFsbGVuIHdvcmxkcyB3YXRjaCIsInR5cGUiOiJiYXNpYyIsImxhbmciOiJlbiIsImxpbWl0IjoyMH0sImluZGV4Ijo2fQ%3D%3D#1446

Therefore, one can assume that Satan gives a damn about these sinless aliens' opinions.

Now that Jesus has died, and been resurrected (see below for more on this), the sinless aliens are all 100% on god’s side and against Satan’s rebellion against god’s laws:

“All the unfallen beings are now united in regarding God's law as changeless.” https://m.egwwritings.org/en/book/2.234?hl=Unfallen+worlds&ss=eyJ0b3RhbCI6NDgwLCJwYXJhbXMiOnsicXVlcnkiOiJVbmZhbGxlbiB3b3JsZHMiLCJ0eXBlIjoiYmFzaWMiLCJsYW5nIjoiZW4iLCJsaW1pdCI6MjB9LCJpbmRleCI6MX0%3D#257

Next, creation: Around six-to-ten thousand actual years ago, god created the planet earth and everything on it in one literal week. There was no death, no suffering. Everything was perfect.

All scientific evidence to the contrary is from Satan. Adventists do not teach their students sciences that point to an old (read: anything older than 6k-10k years ago) earth.

Per Adventist world report, in 2021 there were “2064741” students in SDA schools and universities. These humans’ science educations, critical thinking skills, and ability to recognize a reliable source are hamstrung for life because of Young Earth Creationism pseudoscience taught as fact by Adventism.

https://www.adventist.education/wp-content/uploads/Adventist-Education-World-Report-2021.pdf

Next, The Fall: God created two perfect sinless humans. They were vegetarian and this is Important. They were called Adam and Eve, so therefore all married couples must be male and female. All other types of couples are unnatural and Not God’s Plan, say Adventists.

God told Adam and Eve to not eat fruit from a tree with the oddly specific long name, “The Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil”.

Consequences of sin: A snake deceived the humans into eating fruit from The Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil. After that, “consequences of sin” entered the world. God cursed the man to have thistles in his garden and work by the sweat of his brow. God cursed the woman to have painful childbirth and longing affection for her partner. God cursed the snake to eat dirt. And he cursed everything on earth to suffer and die.

And all their offspring, too.

All-powerful, all-loving god had zero other options than to make this happen. Have just the original sinning couple suffer and die and their offspring have their own chance at not eating from weirdly naked tree? Not an option. Put the tree on the backside of the moon, or on a tall mountain? Not an option. Spare the wholly innocent animals, plants, and microbes the effects of sin? Not an option.

The snake who tempted Eve was burnished gold, winged: Per the Adventist plagiarizing prophetess Ellen White AND John Milton's fictional poem Paradise Lost written 160 years before Ellen White was born… The snake doing the tempting was the color of burnished gold, had wings, flew. This is not biblical. This is Ellen White plagiarizing Paradise Lost.

Ellen White’s quote: “The serpent was then one of the wisest and most beautiful creatures on the earth. It had wings, and while flying through the air presented an appearance of dazzling brightness, having the color and brilliancy of burnished gold.” https://www.ellenwhite.info/books/ellen-g-white-book-patriarchs-and-prophets-pp-3.htm

John Milton’s Paradise Lost golden winged snake: “Thir Snakie foulds, and added wings” and “With burnisht Neck of verdant Gold,” can be found by control-F search of Milton’s manuscript here: https://www.gutenberg.org/cache/epub/26/pg26-images.html

The woman was tempted alone, a Paradise Lost fiction plot point directly against Biblical text: Also per Ellen White the Adventist plagiarizing prophetess, the woman left her man and was tempted alone: “But absorbed in her pleasing task, she unconsciously wandered from his side. On perceiving that she was alone, she felt an apprehension of danger, but dismissed her fears, deciding that she had sufficient wisdom and strength to discern evil and to withstand it.” https://www.ellenwhite.info/books/ellen-g-white-book-patriarchs-and-prophets-pp-3.htm

Paradise Lost also has the woman leave her man. There's an entire whole multi-page conversation on if it's ok to do separate garden chores. (One has to know the whole of Greek mythology to understand all the fucking references. We get it, Milton, you're a learned man. Geez.) Finally the woman convinced the man it’s ok and:

“Thus saying, from her husband’s hand her hand
Soft she withdrew; and, like a Wood-Nymph light,
Oread or Dryad, or of Delia’s train,
Betook her to the groves; [to do gardening alone, and there she was tempted alone]” https://www.gutenberg.org/cache/epub/26/pg26-images.html#chap09

This is Milton’s fiction and Ellen White’s plagiarizing Milton’s fiction, wholly against what the Bible says:

“When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it. She also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it.” Genesis 3:6 NIV. Emphasis mine.

The official White Estate defense denying Ellen White plagiarized Paradise Lost is here. It's a 1953 scanned typed letter from Arthur White saying John Andrews said that in 1858 Ellen White said she never read Paradise Lost. https://ellenwhite.org/media/document/1444

This is third-hand hearsay evidence, inadmissible as evidence in American courts and therefore should be taken as “evidence” with approximately a bucketful of salt. This is shitty, shitty “evidence”.

Other oddly specific examples of Adventist plagiarizing prophetess Ellen White’s plagiarism of Paradise Lost can be found here: https://nonsda.org/egw/egw102.shtml

Also, sinless aliens: There are “worlds upon worlds” of sinless aliens out there watching all the bad effects of sin on earth.

Per Adventist plagiarizing prophetess, Ellen White:

“God has worlds upon worlds that are obedient to his law…With intense interest they [the people on those worlds] watch the controversy between Christ and Satan; and as this controversy progresses, and the glory of God shines brighter and brighter, they give praise to God.” https://m.egwwritings.org/en/book/496.529#540

The Bible: God had Bronze Age Middle Eastern humans write manuscripts that were compiled into a holy book called “The Bible”. This is how god communicates with humans today. Well, the Bible plus the Adventist prophetess Ellen White’s writings.

Of all the forms of the Bible out there, only the Protestant 66 book form of the Bible is the correct holy book.

Other versions of the Bible with more than 66 books include Catholic, Greek Orthodox, Ethiopian Orthodox Christian versions. Adventists are not told about these extra books, usually.

https://www.historyinthebible.com/supplementary_pages/books-of-the-bible.html

And the epistle of Barnabas, the gospel of Peter, and the Shepherd of Hermas, the Gnostic books discovered in the 20th Century, the other early folks called Marcionites and Montanists that the early church called heretics… All their teachings and books, Adventists don’t believe in them.

https://www.historyinthebible.com/episodes.html

The Gentle Author did take a mandatory Bible class in Adventist university and was taught which Bible verses made Gnosticism a heresy. Marcionites, Montanists, and the Gnostic manuscripts found in 1945 and translated mid-20th century were not mentioned. Extra-biblical ancient Christian texts criticizing Gnosticism were not mentioned. Only Bible verses contradicting what the professor claimed was Gnostic mythology were taught. Indeed, the lousy class was not worth the approximately $2100 in student loans The Gentle Author borrowed to pay for the mandatory class.

Gnostic texts from Nag Hammadi library discovered 1945: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nag_Hammadi_library

List of other Gnostic texts: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Gnostic_texts

All other religious texts are probably from Satan, unless there's bits in there that Adventists approve of, then those bits are “god’s truth reaching out the heathens”. Handy list of all these probably mostly Satanic religious texts is here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_religious_texts

What happened next: Adventists teach that the Bible is inerrant, factually true, historically accurate, and all evidence to the contrary is untrue.

“… usual techniques of historical research [all archeology, geology, history, etc.), based as they are on human presuppositions and focused on the human element, are inadequate for interpreting the Scriptures [and not to be trusted or believed unless they align with biblical literalism],…” https://gc.adventist.org/documents/methods-of-bible-study/

Therefore, everything in the Bible happened next.

And it all really happened.

“Scripture is an authentic, reliable record of history and God’s acts in history. It provides the normative theological interpretation of those acts. The supernatural acts revealed in Scripture are historically true. For example, chapters 1-11 of Genesis are a factual account of historical events.” https://gc.adventist.org/documents/methods-of-bible-study/

And so, that is unabridged SDA mythology from an immortal god creating angels and sinless aliens, through the beginning of the Bible.