Seventh-day Adventist belief breakdown: belief 9 of 28

The Seventh-Day Adventist Church has 28 fundamental beliefs. I list the underlying unspoken beliefs and snark when possible. Belief 9 is "The Life, Death and Resurrection of Christ".

Apr 21, 2024

All beliefs are from the official Seventh-day Adventist Church website, Adventist.org. https://www.adventist.org/beliefs/

Per their website, Adventists reserve the right to change or update beliefs.

Therefore, this page is archived here: https://web.archive.org/web/20240127045827/https://www.adventist.org/beliefs/

Links to all prior snarked beliefs are available at the bottom of this post.

On to the unspoken underlying beliefs and snark!

9. The Life, Death and Resurrection of Christ

“In Christ’s life of perfect obedience to God’s will, His suffering, death, and resurrection, God provided the only means of atonement for human sin,

Unspoken underlying beliefs:

An immortal being who is all powerful exists. We Adventists call this being “god”. This god made humans and a being now called Satan. Satan rebelled against god. God and Satan fight over where human souls end up—heaven, or Adventist hell (burned to death by god).

Of all the gods believed in on planet earth, only the Christian god is the true god. Handy list of deities classified by culture here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lists_of_deities_by_cultural_sphere

There’s a holy book: Of all the holy books on planet earth, only the Protestant 66 book version of the Bible is the true version. Handy list of holy books: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_religious_texts

Handy comparison of different Christian versions of acceptable Old Testament books, including “Catholic, Protestant, Greek Orthodox and Ethiopian Orthodox Old Testament canons”. https://www.historyinthebible.com/supplementary_pages/books-of-the-bible.html

There’s sin: Disobeying god’s rules is called “sin”. Two humans disobeyed god’s rules. Thereupon, god cursed the humans, the animals, the plants, all erryone’s descendants and errything with death. Some Adventists have contended with me that death is the “natural consequences” of sin. That doesn’t explain why those who ain’t sinned must suffer for it. The Adventist god is all-powerful and could have jolly well prevented this.

Also sin causes everything wrong on earth from cancer to murder, to sharks and eating meat.

Also: Also God is split into three parts. The 1/3 part that is called Jesus was a human-god combo. He lived a perfect sinless life on planet earth. He sacrificed himself to the other 2/3rds of god. Then he was resurrected from the dead. His death on the cross pays the price for all sins.

Why did someone have to die as punishment for sin? Why did all living things on the whole damn planet have to die when it was two humans who sinned? Why can one person claim the punishments for all the people? Because reasons never ever stated, that's why.

“so that those who by faith accept this atonement may have eternal life,”

Translation: By apologizing to god for sinning, (AND by “faith accepting the atonement” aka “trying very very hard to believe that Jesus existed, died, was god, was resurrected, is in heaven, is coming back to earth”) a human accepts Jesus’s punishment for sins. That human can go to live forever in a perfect place called “heaven”, after Jesus returns to earth with heaven.

Heaven, by the way, is currently in the constellation Orion, per the Adventist plagiarizing prophetess Ellen White.

“…we could look up through the open space in Orion, whence came the voice of God. The Holy City will come down through that open space.” Source: https://m.egwwritings.org/en/book/28.326

“and the whole creation may better understand the infinite and holy love of the Creator.”

Unstated beliefs: There are actual sinless aliens out there watching all the bad effects of sin on earth.

Per Adventist plagiarizing prophetess, Ellen White:

“God has worlds upon worlds that are obedient to his law…With intense interest they [the people on those worlds] watch the controversy between Christ and Satan; and as this controversy progresses, and the glory of God shines brighter and brighter, they give praise to God.” https://m.egwwritings.org/en/book/496.529#540

According to Ellen White, somehow watching the humans, animals, plants suffer and die on earth “brings glory to God” and the aliens “give praise to God”. Perhaps they have maniacal toxic positivity to see so much horror and yet remain happy?

”This perfect atonement”

Translation: Jesus’s death on the cross for all of humanity’s sins

“ vindicates the righteousness of God’s law”

Translation: Ok, so Satan is arguing to the whole cosmos, including those sinless aliens AND all the angels and demons, that god’s rules are not fair or cannot be followed or something. Because Jesus lived a sinless life on earth, Satan was proven 100% wrong.

“and the graciousness of His character; for it both condemns our sin and provides for our forgiveness.”

Translation: Jesus’s sinless life also proves god is kind and merciful. He proved a human can live a sinless life and at the same time made this magic blood thing that saves humans from sin.

This works because reasons never stated. All-powerful god had zero other options. Having only Adam and Eve suffer and die for disobeying god’s rule? Not an option. Nope, all the living things on planet earth ever after had to suffer and die too.

”The death of Christ is substitutionary”

Translation: Ok so this is where Adventists wrote down fancy theological words. These words make philosophers and PhD of Bible Studies kind of people happy. For the rest of us, we can either let our eyes glaze over and skip this bit…or we can look the words up and try to understand.

Per Wikipedia, “Substitutionary atonement, also called vicarious atonement, is a central concept within Western Protestant Christian theology which asserts that Jesus died "for us"“.

Wikipedia also says that folks have been debating about precisely what this means since the second century CE. Let’s leave them to it and move on. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Substitutionary_atonement

“and expiatory,”

Translation: Yes, “expiatory” is reminiscent of “expectoration” aka spitting, and “expiratory” aka “about, related to air expired from lungs”.

Merriam Webster’s dictionary sends us to “expiate” which means “to make amends for; to extinguish the guilt incurred by; obsolete : to put an end to”.

So basically “expiatory” is a repeat of “substitutionary”. Got it.

“reconciling”

Translation: When a human tells god that they accept Jesus’s sacrifice for their sins, that person automatically becomes friends with god. Humans who ain’t told god that are god’s enemies, apparently.

“and transforming.”

Translation: When a human tells god they accept Jesus’s sacrifice for their sins, that person becomes changed so much that it’s called “transformed”.

People who have recently told god they accept Jesus’s sacrifice for their sins are told they are “a new person” (Bible phrase, that) and “transformed” with “a new heart”. Starting over all forgiven is an awesome idea.

This state of mind may help some humans change for the better, but it certainly does not work for plenty of humans including leaders like Ted Haggard. https://rolltodisbelieve.com/jesus-sure-changes-people-ted-haggard-edition/

Also, this “Jesus changed me so you must accept me!” idea causes actual harm.

This is why an Adventist church in India welcomed a self-professed “healed, forgiven Adventist pedophile” speaker around their children. Jesus had forgiven the pedophile, the church members reasoned, so this man was permitted to go visit the Primary children’s Sabbath School (ages around 6-9 years old) unattended.

Because one must believe Jesus forgives and changes people as a core concept of their faith, massive red flags like prior abusive relationships, pedophilia, drug addiction, etc., are overlooked in fundamentalist Christian circles. At least, as long as the person acts like a Christian. Or, as was the case of my pedophile uncle, the church insisted on keeping my pedophile uncle attending church “because he needs Jesus”.

https://talesfromacult.substack.com/p/the-first-terrible-story

Here’s a heart breaking story about a man acting like a Christian, marrying an isolated Purity Culture young woman, and killing her. https://rolltodisbelieve.com/the-jesus-mask-why-evangelicals-are-so-easy-to-deceive/

I have personally encountered more than one instance of a man acting like a conservative Christian, wooing and marrying a sheltered Purity Culture young woman, then abusing that woman after marriage.

Per deconstruction blog Roll To Disbelieve in above blog post, “It’s incredibly easy for a bad-faith actor to fool evangelicals by acting the part of the chastened, forgiven, redeemed sinner who’s been totally changed thanks to magic Jesus pixie dust.”

The bodily resurrection of Christ proclaims God’s triumph over the forces of evil,

Translation: Jesus rose from the dead with a body you can touch. Not a ghostly body! This is Important.

Also because Jesus rose from the dead, Jesus proved Satan’s accusation that god’s laws are an impossible standard totally wrong.

Evil still exists, but Jesus definitely has triumphed over it.

and for those who accept the atonement, assures their final victory over sin and death.

Translation: Better tell Jesus you accept his death or you're going to Adventist hell (you'll be burned to death) after you die.

It declares the Lordship of Jesus Christ, before whom every knee in heaven and on earth will bow.

Translation: When Jesus brings heaven to planet earth from Orion, where it is now, he'll resurrect everyone. Every single person, alien, angel, and demon will have to kneel and bow to him. Then, god in his great mercy will burn the humans to death who didn’t tell god they accept Jesus as their savior.

Leaving the ordinary boring humans dead—the doubters, the confused, the folks who have seen too much suffering to believe in a loving god—that's not an option. Because unstated reasons.

Aaaand on to the massive list of Bible verse abbreviations! Too long; did not read? All verses apply to topic this time.

(Gen. 3:15; this is the “enmity between you and the woman” verse. I was made to memorize it as a kid.

Ps. 22:1; fits the theme, I didn’t have to memorize this one

Isa. 53; There’s an entire chapter long song for this chapter that I was made to learn as a kid. It will live rent free in my head forever and I'll probably sing it to all my fellow elder millennials who also have dementia, in the nursing home for dirt poor people I'll wind up in.

John 3:16; The central tenant of Christianity. Most Christians know this by heart, allegedly.

14:30; Ok y’all I am tired of looking up verses. Let's keep going tho. This verse is applicable to this topic.

Rom. 1:4; fits this topic.

3:25; fits this topic and verges on the “Jesus went to Hell while he was in the grave” theme which Adventists deny.

4:25; fits topic

8:3, fits topic

4; fits topic. I was made to memorize parts of this.

1 Cor. 15:3, fits topic

4, fits topic

20-22; fits topic

2 Cor. 5:14, this fits topic

15, fits topic

19-21; fits topic

Phil. 2:6-11; fits topic

Col. 2:15; fits topic

1 Peter 2:21, fits topic

22; fits topic

1 John 2:2; fits topic

4:10.) fits topic. I was not made to memorize this verse, but the scripture reference “First John four, seven and eight!” and the verses live in my brain forever.

The grand list of Bible verses to prove to all and sundry that Adventist beliefs are 100% Bible-based.

End breakdown belief nine

Why The Gentle Author calls Ellen Gould White “the Adventist plagiarizing prophetess”: Test The Prophet shows original Victorian Era books, first defining the Victorian definition of “plagiarize”. Then he shows the original authors’ books with content that Ellen White copied. Ellen White claimed that these texts were her visions from God. https://www.youtube.com/@TesttheProphet

All prior Seventh-day Adventist beliefs, snarked:

Belief 1, “Holy Scriptures”, is snarked here:

https://talesfromacult.substack.com/p/adventist-belief-breakdown-belief

Belief 2, “The Trinity”, is snarked here:

https://talesfromacult.substack.com/p/adventist-belief-breakdown-belief-91e

Belief 3, “God the Father”, is snarked here:

https://talesfromacult.substack.com/p/adventist-belief-breakdown-belief-961

Belief 4, “God the Son”, is snarked here:

https://talesfromacult.substack.com/p/adventist-belief-breakdown-belief-0d8

Belief 5, “God the Holy Spirit”, is snarked here:

https://talesfromacult.substack.com/p/seventh-day-adventist-belief-breakdown

Belief 6, “Creation”, is snarked here: