Seventh-day Adventist belief breakdown: belief 16 of 28

The Seventh-day Adventist Church has 28 fundamental beliefs. I list the underlying unspoken beliefs whilst snarking as possible. Belief 16 is "The Lord's Supper (Communion)".

Aug 02, 2024

Image info: The image accompanying this post is from the Wikipedia article on communion or Eucharist. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eucharist

The textbox under this image says: “The Eucharist has been a key theme in the depictions of the Last Supper in Christian art,^[9] as in this 16th-century Juan de Juanes painting, after Leonardo da Vinci's Last Supper.”

Adventists I grew up with believed images of halos in Christian art, such as this painting, is of pagan or Satanic origin. Therefore ancient art like this wasn’t a thing displayed in SDA circles. Also, I never heard the word “Eucharist” until I was in my 20s. Adventists say “Communion”.

Intro info: All beliefs are from the official Seventh-day Adventist Church website, Adventist.org. https://www.adventist.org/beliefs/

Per their website, Adventists reserve the right to change or update beliefs.

Therefore, this page is archived here: https://web.archive.org/web/20240127045827/https://www.adventist.org/beliefs/

Seventh-day Adventists refer to themselves as “SDA” or “Adventist” for short. My writings do too.

Links to all prior snarked beliefs are available at the bottom of this post.

An exhaustive source to debunk the Adventist pseudoscience called Young Earth Creationism (YEC), and scholarly source showing Adventist prophetess Ellen White’s plagiarized “visions from god” sources, are also at bottom of this post.

Shout out to fellow exSDA Jonny. He plays organ hymns exactly like the organists at church did. I prefer his Pingu, Bluey, and Lord of the Rings music organ covers. https://youtube.com/@JonnyMusicOrganist

On to snark of belief 16!

16. The Lord’s Supper (Communion)

Preliminary unspoken assumptions: God: There is an all-powerful, all-knowing, all-loving being who made the entire universe and gives a damn about all living things. Adventists call him god and say his pronouns are he/him. Adventists teach all other gods believed in on planet earth are false gods, and evil.

Handy list of evil false gods here, listed by culture: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lists_of_deities_by_cultural_sphere

Remember, all are evil false gods, even if their believers and mythology report them as kind, protective, and caring.

Angels, heaven in Orion: God made powerful immortal beings called “angels”. They live together in a perfect place called “heaven”. It’s a real physical place, a city. Per Adventist plagiarizing prophetess Ellen White, heaven is located in the Constellation Orion:

“…we could look up through the open space in Orion, whence came the voice of God. The Holy City [heaven] will come down through that open space.” Source: https://m.egwwritings.org/en/book/28.326

Angels do miraculous things on planet earth for god. The Angel of Death personally killed all the Egyptians’ firstborn children and all their animals’ firstborn offspring, too, according to the Bible. This was definitely loving of god.

God’s rules for living: God made rules that he wants all living sentient beings to live by. Disobeying these rules is called “sin”. Many of these rules boil down to “Don't be a dick”, but god is hella fond of oddly specific rules and implementing horrific punishments if said rules are disobeyed. Google Lot’s wife, the Fall of Adam and Eve, and death of the man who gathered sticks on Sabbath for examples.

Satan, demons: One angel rebelled against god’s rules for living. God was not ok with that, and was there war in heaven between that angel and god and all the different angels on either side of this argument. God won. He kicked that angel and all that angel’s pals—a full 1/3 of the angels—out of heaven. Now those angels are on planet earth. Humans call them “Satan” and “demons”.

Young Earth Creationism is fact: The planet earth and solar system were made by god in exactly 6 literal days around 6,000-10,000 literal years ago. All evidence to the contrary is from Satan.

George McReady Price, an Adventist with a grade school education, largely started Young Earth Creationism (YEC). https://reasons.org/explore/publications/articles/how-young-earth-creationism-became-a-core-tenet-of-american-fundamentalism-part-2

Side note on SDAs making money spreading YEC pseudoscience: Adventists have pseudoscience YEC organizations such as Geoscience Research Institute. https://www.grisda.org/gri-global

They publish YEC books for children and adults: https://adventistbookcenter.com/catalogsearch/result/?q=Creation

Adventists have their own publishing facilities in Nampa, Idaho. YEC pseudoscience books, and other SDA books, are published there. Called Pacific Press Publishing Association, this press founded by their plagiarizing prophetess, Ellen White’s husband, James White. It makes over $40 million annually. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pacific_Press_Publishing_Association

Adventists have over $16 billion as of 1998, making them the 7th wealthiest religion on earth. They can afford to continue to publish and sell pseudoscience as fact even at a loss. But Adventism is God’s Last Truth(TM) and spreading YEC lies is For Jesus(TM) so teaching children pseudoscience is fact is totally ok! (Snarky snark is snark.) https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_wealthiest_religious_organizations

Back to preliminary assumptions.

Perfect world, then sin: God made a perfect deathless planet earth with two immortal humans. Satan tempted them to disobey god’s rules. So god let sin into the world (or put sin into the world, depending on which Adventist you talk to, and it's Important). The “consequences of sin” are that all living things must suffer and die. Poison ivy is also one of the consequences of sin.

The Bible: In the Bronze Age Middle East, god made humans write down stuff god did. Those books are how god communicates with humans. Humans collected and published those books. The collected book of all those books is called the “Bible”. Of all the versions of the Bible available, only the 66-book Protestant version is the right version. It is literally true, actually happened, and all evidence to the contrary is from Satan.

Trinity: Now, because unspoken reasons, god is one whole being and also comes in thirds. This is called the Trinity.

God’s thirds are:

God the Father, the main creator
God the Son, a human-god hybrid who lived a sinless life on planet earth
God the Holy Spirit, who functions as every humans’ conscience. If a human follows their conscience as hard as they can, they'll become very Adventist-like.

The cure of sin is one sinless person's death: Because more unspoken reasons, if a god-human hybrid came to planet earth from heaven, lived a sinless life, voluntarily died, was resurrected from death, and returned to heaven—well, then that one death paid all the necessary penalty for all humans’ sins.

And that oddly specific thing happened! The god-man is called “Jesus Christ” and lived in the Middle East about 2000 years ago. Because that 1/3 of god sacrificed himself to the other 2/3rds of god, humans can become immortal after god returns to earth.

FYI, Jesus is right now in heaven, in Orion’s Belt.

How to be immortal in the afterlife: To be able to live immortal with god in heaven in the afterlife, one must tell god that they accept Jesus’s death for their sins. This is called “being born again” or “being saved”. A saved person is called a “Christian”. Note: Per The Gentle Author’s Catholic friend’s Catholic priest, only Protestant Christians have to be born-again. Catholic Christians don't.

After being saved, one must follow their conscience as hard as they can. They must read the Bible, pray to god, and hang out with other believers. Roll To Disbelieve blog calls all that “Jesusing”. So does The Gentle Author.

Invisible war: Right now there is a huge invisible war between god and Satan on where humans wind up after they die.

God wants humans to live immortal with him in heaven. Satan wants humans to die permanently via being burned to death in the Adventist version of hell (raised from the dead, burned to death).

Just because you can't see the demons, angels, Satan, and god doesn’t mean they're not real, say Adventists.

The Second Coming: Very soon god will bring heaven to planet earth, resurrect all humans, bring the saved ones into heaven. He'll burn all the unsaved humans to death along with Satan and the demons. Then he’ll make a new immortal heaven and perfect earth with no sorrow or suffering.

This is called “The Second Coming”. The First Coming is Jesus’s coming to earth. In no way can one calculate god’s refractory period by estimating the difference between each Coming. That's blasphemous.

How to make god come to earth sooner: Adventism is god’s last true church. The harder Adventists work to tell all the world about Adventism, the sooner god can come to earth. This is because god can only come to earth after every human has accepted or rejected the truth of Adventism. Adventists use Bible verses to prove this.

That's enough to be getting on with.

Main belief snark starts here:

The Lord’s Supper

Translation: In Christianese, “The Lord” usually means “Jesus”. According to the Bible, the night before Jesus died, he had a private supper with his 12 closest followers. They ate unleavened bread and drank wine.

The wine was non-alcoholic grape juice, much like Welch’s grape juice. This is Important. (Note: Adventists use the purple color of Welch’s grape juice in their Communions. Not the white grape juice.)

Jesus said eating the bread represented eating his body, and drinking the wine-but-actually-grape-juice represented drinking his blood. He commanded his closest followers to continue eating and drinking unleavened bread and wine “in remembrance of him”. (Bible verse phrase, that.)

Christians ever since have done this. It's called “Communion” or “The Lord’s Supper”. Using real wine during Communion is inauthentic and probably from Satan. It makes one lival to become an alcoholic. Using alcohol in moderation is not ok for Adventists.

is a participation in the emblems of the body and blood of Jesus as an expression of faith in Him, our Lord and Saviour.

Translation: Adventists, like most Christian denominations, celebrate Communion.

This act symbolizes one believes that Jesus is 1/3 of god, sacrificed himself to the 2/3rds of god to pay for all humans’ sins, and that the person has been born again, and is Jesusing.

In this experience of communion Christ is present to meet and strengthen His people.

Underlying assumptions: Yes, per Adventist plagiarizing prophetess Ellen White, Jesus is currently physically located in heaven which is in Orion’s Belt.

However, Jesus is also invisibly present in every Communion service ever. True Adventists ought to feel “strengthened” spiritually during Adventist Communions. This is definitely because of Jesus being invisibly there and not because hanging out with other humans doing the same thing makes people feel positive emotions.

Just know that there's 2/3 of god around when Communion occurs: God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit (remember, that 1/3 of god is in every human as their conscience). God the Father apparently remains in heaven in Orion’s Belt during Adventist Communions. This is because unexplained reasons.

As we partake,

Translation: Adventists have Communion “quarterly”, or once every three months. Many Adventists skip church that Sabbath. Therefore, this phrase is better written “The Adventists who show up to church on Communion Sabbath and participate”.

And by “participate”, I vividly remember all the folks who disappeared during Communion and/or foot-washing the better to not participate. One generally found them sitting in their cars in the parking lot. Or hanging out under the nearest shady tree, chatting.

we joyfully proclaim the Lord’s death until He comes again.

Unwritten thing that happens: During SDA Communions, Adventists read the Bible text wherein Jesus had his last supper. Religiously scrupulous SDAs try to control their thoughts so they think about Jesus, how kind and loving it was of 1/3 of god to sacrifice himself to the other 2/3 of himself, how they're unworthy of god’s amazing love, how they will be hopefully immortal eventually, how god will come to earth any day now.

I know because I did this every communion, as I was taught to. I talked to other earnest SDA believers who said they did the same, too.

Preparation for the Supper includes self-examination, repentance, and confession.

Translation: Jesus hard before communion.

The Master

Read: Jesus

ordained

Read: said to do this thing and that it was a holy thing to do

the service of foot-washing

Unspoken underlying things: Adventists practice foot-washing at every Communion.

The process goes like this:

First, the background Adventists working for the church for free—usually the baptized women and baptized girls, sometimes baptized men—get out all the supplies and set up the rooms for foot-washing. They ensure everything is clean, chairs set up, tables set up.

Supplies include buckets for water, stainless steel wide flattish bowls for putting one’s feet into, and white fluffy hand towels. Technically, it’s feet towels.

During church service on Communion Sabbath, usually before Communion proper, Adventists do foot-washing

Adventists call it “The Ordinance of Humility”. On Communion Sabbath they do it instead of a long sermon. First, the nonSDA folks are told they can participate if they want to. Some patiently sit in the mostly empty pews. Unbaptized kids are sent off to extended Sabbath School. I sometimes deliberately avoided foot-washing by watching the kids.

Usually the group of baptized SDA folks, including children ages around 8 and up, split up by gender. They go to separate rooms. In these modern days, sometimes straight cis couples are permitted to wash each others’ feet.

I can only speak to what happens at foot-washing for the ladies’ side of things. Ain’t never seen the men’s foot-washing. All I can say is the men always filed back looking very very solemn.

On standard partner choosing: Each person chooses another person to be their foot-washing partner. This is done by quick sizing someone up, a couple eye glances, followed by an awkward smile, then a hesitant “Do you have a partner?” or perhaps a blunt asking sans the awkward glances part.

If a person is an unknown visitor, or unpopular, physically unpleasant to look at, or unkempt, one isn’t quickly chosen as a partner. These social rejects all get thrown together and get to wash each other’s feet.

Storytime! Memorably, The Gentle Author read in Adventist Review how some visitor to an SDA church had SUCH a spiritual lesson during foot-washing. See, he got partnered with a guy who had warts. SO MANY warts! Warts his face, wrists, AND his feet! wrote the author. The author washed those warty feet! And that guy turned out to be a cool person, said the story. Thus everyone should be like Jesus and wash even the warty folks’ feet, suggested the article.

I immediately knew who the wart-afflicted gentleman (probably) was. The article mentioned the geographic location the afflicted gentleman was at. I knew of exactly one very warty man there—a respected friend of my SDA neighbor I call Founder. I was attending church in the same geographic location, along with Founder. There, I saw a gentleman who had a condition wherein non-contagious tumors grow on one’s nerve endings. I remember this gentleman as shy, reserved, with pea-to-grape-sized growths on all visible skin. His eyes were kind.

Founder greeted this gentleman with a grin, a nod, and told me how the gentleman was a smart skilled craftsman. (It is possible the article referred to another human. I presume it is not likely, given the article’s vivid written description, the small size of SDA social circles, and the identical geographic location.)

On my personal experiences foot washing. Warning: Toe Jam: In the church where I grew up, after I had a foot-washing partner, we went to the ladies foot-washing location. They would sit down and I would queu up in front of a table with foot washing supplies. A baptized woman in an official role called “deaconess”, behind the table, handed me a large flattish stainless steel bowl. Then next down the line, another deaconess ladled clear water into the bowl—about a cup’s worth. I grabbed a towel from a neatly folded pile.

Then I walked the bowl with its sloshing water over to my partner, who had removed their shoes.

This is the anxiety part. There are no gloves.

American healthcare does not prioritize elderly people’s feet getting properly cleaned, dried, and nails clipped. This means old people who cannot physically do this themselves turn up to Adventist foot-washing services with unkempt feet.

When one has to wash another person’s feet and toe jam, foot odor, or visible fungal infections are a thing on that person’s feet, it can be quite awful. One is silently pressured to just wash the feet. There is no soap. There are no gloves. There was usually hand sanitizer available for use after the ceremony.

I never refused to wash a partner’s foot. If my partner was elderly and disabled, there was usually white macerated tissues between the toes secondary to improper drying between toes after bathing. The person was physically incapable of such cares. Foot odor was common. If the lady was wearing panty hose, I could not clean the toe jam out nor dry the feet completely. I simply wetted and patted its surface dry. I hated that. If I could—if the lady was barefooted and suffered this condition—I would dry carefully between her individual toes, surreptitiously wiping the macerated tissue away.

Foot washing, the generalized procedure: One places one’s partner's foot into the flattish bowl. One drizzles water over their partner’s foot with their hands. Then one pats their partner’s foot as dry as possible using the towel. This is repeated on the other foot.

Then one’s partner returns the dirty bowl, dumps the water out, gets a clean bowl, water, towel. And repeats the process on the original foot washer. Usually the two people freestyle short prayers together. A hug or foot rub is common.

While this is going on, there is often quiet hymn music played in the background. People are shhhhh’d if they get loud.

After everyone’s feet are washed, everyone joins together again.

Communion proper, with cool flatbread bite size pieces and wee plastic glasses holding half a swallow of grape juice, was done next. These are passed in specialized trays to the congregation, after a prayer and reading of The Last Supper passage in Bible. This happened around noon.

When I was unbaptized, I looked on in silent envious hunger. When I was baptized, I took the largest piece of flatbread available and yearned for more juice. The bread always made my throat dry.

to signify renewed cleansing,

Translation: Footwashing reminds a proper Adventist that they are not once-saved-always-saved. No. An Adventist is taught to be well-aware of accidental thought crimes, word crimes, actual sins, and how they can lose their salvation any day. They are taught that each individual sin they ever commit must be individually repented to god for it to be forgiven. A forgotten sin unrepented of? Keeps one out of heaven.

Therefore, footwashing symbolizes the religious scrupulosity required to constantly notice sins, mentally repent, and strive to never do that sin again.

It is also a reminded of how kind god is to continue forgiving them. Therefore, it is a reminder of how unworthy of love, how dreadful a sinner they are.

It's worded as “renewed cleansing”. It causes much anxiety, unnecessary guilt, and terror that one’s salvation is lost.

to express a willingness to serve one another in Christlike humility,

Translation: Footwashing is to remind a believer to serve humanity as Jesus did. It is a lovely idea.

It practice, it is not so great. Boundaries are not taught in Adventism. One is coerced via Bible verses and spiritual rhetoric to volunteer for the church. One is coerced to push one’s self to continue in free voluntold church roles in spite of exhaustion, burnout, ill health, etc.

and to unite our hearts in love.

Read: This rhetoric is used to silence people rightfully calling out abuse and wrongs done by Adventist leadership. It is used to coerce stalked, SA’d, abused people from reporting their predators to secular authorities.

The communion service is open to all believing Christians.

Translation: Visiting nonSDA Christians can wash Adventists’ feet if they wanna.

(Matt. 26:17-30; John 6; 13:1-17; 1 Cor. 10:16, 17; 11:23-30; Rev. 3:20.)

Proof-texts that might be related to above topic. Sometimes they aren't. This collection of Bible verse references is used to virtue-signal to Bible literalists that Adventists are Bible-following people.

End snark of belief 16.

Why The Gentle Author calls Ellen Gould White “the Adventist plagiarizing prophetess”: Test The Prophet first defines “plagiarism” using sources from the American Victorian Era. He shows original books published in the Victorian Era that Ellen White plagiarized from. Then he shows the these writings in Ellen White’s books, where she claims they were her visions from god. https://www.youtube.com/@TesttheProphet

Why The Gentle Author says Young Earth Creationism is pseudoscience: One can find an exhaustive list of Young Earth Creationism claims debunked here. http://www.talkorigins.org/indexcc/

I was taught about 80% of these claims as fact by the Adventist church. It continues to spread this pseudoscience as “real science” to tens of thousands of SDA students. This hamstrings their knowledge of reliable sources, critical thinking, value of peer-reviewed studies. It primes one to view anecdotes and conspiracy theories as valid “factual evidence”. This contributes to one falling for other pseudoscience, multi-level marketing scams, and actively harming themselves and their children by anti-vaccine and anti-science actions.

All prior Seventh-day Adventist beliefs, snarked:

Belief 1, “Holy Scriptures”, is snarked here:

https://talesfromacult.substack.com/p/adventist-belief-breakdown-belief

Belief 2, “The Trinity”, is snarked here:

https://talesfromacult.substack.com/p/adventist-belief-breakdown-belief-91e

Belief 3, “God the Father”, is snarked here:

https://talesfromacult.substack.com/p/adventist-belief-breakdown-belief-961

Belief 4, “God the Son”, is snarked here:

https://talesfromacult.substack.com/p/adventist-belief-breakdown-belief-0d8

Belief 5, “God the Holy Spirit”, is snarked here:

https://talesfromacult.substack.com/p/seventh-day-adventist-belief-breakdown

Belief 6, “Creation”, is snarked here: