Seventh-day Adventist belief breakdown: belief 17 of 28

The Seventh-day Adventist Church (SDA) has 28 fundamental beliefs. I debunk as possible, and snark them. Belief 17 is "Spiritual Gifts and Ministries". Trigger warning: CSA.

Aug 18, 2024

The image with this post is from the Wikipedia page “Spiritual Gift”. It is captioned “The term charism denotes any good gift that flows from God's benevolent love.” By clicking on the image, one can read it is labeled “Tabernakelbildstock in Taisten. Christus am Ölberg” and “head blood Christ”. Unless I very much miss my highly educated SDA Bible study guess, this is old art showing Jesus’s sweating blood while in the Garden of Gethsemane just before his crucifixion.

The church I grew up in eschewed old Christian art like this. I was taught depictions of halos are Satanic.

Intro info: All beliefs are from the official Seventh-day Adventist Church website, Adventist.org. https://www.adventist.org/beliefs/

Per their website, Adventists reserve the right to change or update beliefs.

Therefore, this page is archived here: https://web.archive.org/web/20240127045827/https://www.adventist.org/beliefs/

Seventh-day Adventists refer to themselves as “SDA” or “Adventist” for short. My writings do too.

Links to all prior SDA beliefs with underlying assumptions listed, debunked, and snarked are available at the bottom of this post.

An exhaustive source to debunk the Adventist pseudoscience called Young Earth Creationism (YEC), and a scholarly source showing Adventist prophetess Ellen White’s plagiarized “visions from god” sources, are also at bottom of this post.

Shout out to fellow exSDA Jonny. He plays organ hymns exactly like the organists at church did. I prefer his Pingu, Bluey, and Lord of the Rings music organ covers. Find his art here: https://youtube.com/@JonnyMusicOrganist

On debunking: Religious beliefs are not wholly debunkable. Fundamentalist Christians, like Adventists, claim faith is “evidence” using Bible verses. They claim this “evidence” is on par with objectively provable things like gravity. It is not. Therefore one cannot debunk all Adventist beliefs. I do my best.

Adventists teach that the Bible literally happened as written. Their sixth belief states that pseudoscience Young Earth Creationism (YEC, the claim that the world was made by a god 6,000-10,000 years ago in one literal week) is factual. They rely heavily on cherry-picked Bible verses to “prove” their beliefs.

Other types of Bible study methods are defined here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bible_study_(Christianity)

Unspoken unabridged underlying SDA beliefs are here:

https://talesfromacult.substack.com/p/seventh-day-adventist-beliefs-the

Brief recap: There’s an immortal nonhuman being who humans call god. God’s pronouns are he/him. He made everything including angels who are immortal miracle workers of good. He has rules all sentient beings must live by. One of his angels rebelled against those rules, causing 1/3 of the angels to rebel against god.

God yeeted those rebel angels out of the immortal utopia called heaven in Orion’s Belt where he currently lives, per SDA plagiarizing prophetess Ellen White.

Disobeying god’s rules is sin. Sin brings everything bad on planet earth. God made planet earth perfect, deathless with an immortal pair of humans. Those humans disobeyed god. Therefore, god cursed the earth. Now all living things on planet earth must suffer and die.

God made Bronze Age Middle Eastern humans write down these rules and that is how he communicates with humans. The collection of manuscripts those humans wrote is called the Bible. Only the 66-book Protestant version of the Bible is the correct version of the Bible.

God decided sin requires a human death sacrifice. Per the Bible, God sacrificed 1/3 of himself to the other 2/3rds of himself. That 1/3 of himself is a human-god hybrid who lived a sinless life on planet earth and was resurrected from death. He's called Jesus.

One can become immortal telling god that they accept Jesus’s sacrifice for their sins. This is called being “born again” or “being saved” or “salvation”. If born-again humans die, they will live an eternal afterlife with god in a utopia called heaven.

All three thirds of god will return to planet earth, resurrect and judge all humans, and take the saved ones to live immortal with him. God will burn the rest of the humans to death. This is loving and merciful.

Meanwhile all the rebel angels are here on planet earth trying to get all humans to go to Adventist hell (when god resurrects all humans and burns the unsaved ones to death). These former angels are called Satan and his demons. They're bodily here on earth. Lots of things come from Satan. Yoga is Satanic. The theory of evolution is Satanic. If Satanic things are not avoided, one can lose their salvation.

Last but not least, Adventists can make god return to earth faster by telling everyone about god’s last true church—Seventh-day Adventism.

That should be enough to be getting on with. On to snark of SDA belief 17!

17. Spiritual Gifts and Ministries

God bestows upon all members of His church in every age spiritual gifts that each member is to employ in loving ministry for the common good of the church and of humanity.

Translation: The SDA church is the seventh wealthiest religion on earth. As of 1998, it had $15.6 billion. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_wealthiest_religious_organizations

Even though the SDA church can afford to pay its church members, it relies on volunteer labor from its members for most of its functions.

Adventists church members get together in church in a group called a Nominating Committee. They talk amongst themselves what members can do. They tell those people to volunteer in those roles. They say working these roles are “spiritual gifts”.

They claim volunteering for the church is good for all of humanity because god’s last true church is Adventism. All humans must learn about Adventism before god can come back to planet earth. Therefore, the logic goes, volunteering for the SDA church is good for all humanity.

Given by the agency of the Holy Spirit,

Underlying unspoken beliefs: Remember how god comes in thirds? He's also one whole too. That doctrine is called the Trinity. In 1957, SDAs decided to believe in the Trinity by publishing a book called Questions on Doctrine. Before that, they argued about the Trinity. https://www.adventistbiblicalresearch.org/wp-content/uploads/Trinity-in-SDA-History.pdf

Adventists teach that 1/3 of god is called the Holy Spirit. He's down here on planet earth in every human and functions as their conscience. Those who follow their conscience fully will become like Seventh-day Adventists.

The Holy Spirit also makes humans good at things. These things are “spiritual gifts”.

who apportions to each member as He wills,

Translation: If a human is not good at a thing, then god has not willed that they be good at that thing. So don't be jealous of people better at things than you; it's god’s will.

the gifts provide all abilities and ministries needed by the church to fulfill its divinely ordained functions.

Translation: Adventism relies on volunteers voluntold to do things whenever possible. Also, Adventism is from god and the things it does are “divinely ordained”.

Divinely ordained means “god said the SDA church should do that”. This is not hubris at all.

According to the Scriptures,

Translation: Bible verses talk about how the Holy Spirit makes some humans better at some things than others.

these gifts include such ministries

Translation: Canny SDA grifters who spot tax-free American religious business opportunities spreading pseudoscience to gullible SDA people, and well-meaning Adventists both make “ministries”. There are official SDA ministries such as the huge AdventHealth conglomerate of SDA hospitals, and the SDA printing press in Nampa, Idaho, and Adventist educational facilities from pre-k through university, and Adventist Development and Relief Agency (ADRA) that's kinda like Doctors Without Borders but Adventist.

There are also Adventist-supporting but not officially church-sanctioned ministries. Adventism happily welcomes converts from those ministries. Adventism recommends those ministries. Whenever a ministry hits the news as particularly horrible, then the Adventist church hand-waves away that ministry as “it’s not actually Adventist”.

Ministries that were recommended by the SDA church and then officially rejected include:

Circumcision-promoter and professional enema-administrator former Adventist Dr. Kellogg of the cereal brand.
ExAdventist whistleblower and author D. M. Canright.
Child-abusing SDA boarding academy Miracle Meadows.
The multigenerational CSA committed by Adventists on the famous Adventist island called Pitcairn.
Pseudo-historian, actual nurse anesthetist larping as an archeologist, debunked SDA grifter Ron Wyatt. I was raised on his movies claiming he found Noah’s Ark. I wasn’t shown his media claiming he found Jesus’s actual blood.

Scummy SDA affiliated con-artist ministries still recommended by the SDA church include:

Three Angels Broadcasting Network (3ABN), headed by Danny Shelton who permitted his pedophile pastor brother, Tommy Shelton, unrestricted access to children on 3ABN kids’ show. Tommy Shelton served time in jail for his crimes.
Faux Satanist and debunked SDA grifter Roger Morneau who claimed demons levitate stones in Montreal Canada for Satanic elites. Adventist Book Centers still sell his books.

as faith, healing, prophecy, proclamation, teaching,

Translation: First of all, one should note the Biblically named spiritual gifts that Adventists don't mention. As Wikipedia says, these include “kinds of tongues”, “interpretation of tongues”, and “apostles”. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spiritual_gift

SDAs don't call any modern day SDAs apostles. Nor do they practice speaking in tongues. I heard regular SDA sermons while growing up SDA on how speaking in tongues is Satanic.

Adventists teach that you can faith and vegan away most illnesses. That's the “faith, healing” part of their belief statement.

Adventists teach they have a Victorian Era prophetess named Ellen White and no true prophets have been on earth since her. That's the “prophecy” part.

SDAs teach everyone on earth must know about Adventism before god can return to earth. That's the “proclamation” part.

Adventists have their own SDA teachers from Kindergarten to university level. That's the “teaching” part. They deprive their students proper geology lessons because that points to an old earth and that's from Satan.

administration,

Translation: We SDAs have people who count everything and we publish those numbers publicly.

To its credit, the Seventh-day Adventist Church is transparent about its finances, membership, and lots of other data. Except when folks embezzle, which happens. Go knock yourself out on the data here: https://www.nadadventist.org/departments/treasury/tithe-and-offering-reports

reconciliation, compassion

Translation: Using rhetoric of “reconciliation” and “compassion”, an Adventist pastor coerced my close relative to stay with her physically abusive husband. Another generation later, in a different state, SDA elders coerced my friend to meet with her SDA stalker and forgive him. They told her not to tell the police his illegal behavior because “it would ruin his career”. The church I grew up in protected my child molester uncle until threatened with legal action. Read that here:

https://talesfromacult.substack.com/p/the-first-terrible-story

The SDA church continues these practices. For instance, Adventists have a legal group called Adventist Risk Management. Their written directions to SDA pastors who have convicted pedophiles attending their church are:

“If you are a local church leader, your first call should be to your main conference contact. Conference administrators should involve local counsel and contact Adventist Risk Management, Inc. (ARM). Once you have reported the situation, expect to fully cooperate in any ensuing investigations. Keep a timeline of relevant dates and conversations, beginning with when you were first alerted to the sex offender’s presence. You can also prevent further harm by only involving necessary parties in any initial fact-finding conversations.”

Web page archived here: https://web.archive.org/web/20240703044938/https://www.adventistrisk.org/en-US/Safety-Resources/Solutions-NewsLetter/2023/January/NADENG-Managing-Known-Sex-Offenders

Routine notification of SDA parents with children attending an SDA church that a convicted pedophile is attending church? No. An SDA pastor is to “only involve necessary parties” and “prevent further harm” while the church legal team has “fact finding conversations”.

On the plus side, Adventists have written advice recommending pastoral discretion. On the negative side, that discretion protects convicted pedophiles.

This has been SDA practice since the 1800s. Here, plagiarizing SDA prophetess Ellen White tells a pedophile pastor to not confess to police because it would make Adventism look bad.

https://talesfromacult.substack.com/p/ellen-whites-written-policy-to-a

and self-sacrificing service and charity for the help and encouragement of people.

Translation: We will volunteer members to do things for free for the church. We will use Bible verses and words like “self sacrifice”, “charity”, “help people”.

Some members are called of God and endowed by the Spirit for functions recognized by the church in pastoral, evangelistic, and teaching ministries particularly needed to equip the members for service,

Translation: God mainly calls Adventist men to be pastors and evangelists. He mainly calls Adventist women to be teachers. This is not misogyny endemic in the church at all.

Adventists voted in 2015 to deny SDA women ordination, but some wayward SDA places ordain women pastors anyway. https://religionnews.com/2015/07/08/adventists-stay-course-vote-deny-womens-ordination/

to build up the church to spiritual maturity,

Translation: We SDAs have Adventists who pressure Adventists to volunteer, tithe 10% of their income to the church, attend church every Saturday, will their houses and property to the church, pay exorbitant tuition to send their kids to private SDA education institutions, send their kids to Pathfinders to indoctrinate those kids into SDA theology. And we SDAs tell you to be vegetarian.

This is “building up the church to spiritual maturity”.

and to foster unity of the faith

Translation: The SDA church silences victims and protects predators.

Below, summarized: Official SDA Church organization advises SDA leadership to quash rumors about convicted pedophiles attending churches. This is to prevent “a divisive spirit in the church”. Churches are instructed to reach out to pedophiles and CSA survivors “simultaneously” because Jesus. Pastors who's churches have pedophiles attending are to determine if the pedophiles needs can be met by the church. If yes, the pastor is to determine if said convicted pedophiles “are truly repentant” by “observation” and “talking to parole officers”.

The details: I quote the Adventist church’s own Adventist Risk Management (ARM) to say the quiet part out loud. Per their website,

“Adventist Risk Management^®, Inc. is the official insurance and risk management company for the Seventh-day Adventist Church and Adventist ministries around the world.” https://adventistrisk.org/en-US/about-us

On one page, ARM tells SDA leadership to report allegations of child abuse to law enforcement. This is good.

https://adventistrisk.org/en-US/Safety-Resources/Solutions-Newsletter/2015/April/When-A-Predator-Attacks

Note that it is couched in terms of “know, follow your mandatory reporting laws”. This is because in the USA, as of 2022, 33 of 50 USA states do not have pastors mandatory reporters of CSA. https://www.wbur.org/news/2022/09/28/clergy-loophole-child-sex-abuse

In a more detailed written advice to SDA leaders titled “Managing Known Sex Offenders”, this SDA organization tells SDA leaders: https://web.archive.org/web/20240703044938/https://www.adventistrisk.org/en-US/Safety-Resources/Solutions-NewsLetter/2023/January/NADENG-Managing-Known-Sex-Offenders

Leadership is to “discourage rumors” to “prevent a divisive spirit from taking hold of the church.”
The convicted pedophile is to sign a paper saying they won’t offend again.
The convicted pedophile is to be chaperoned by an unrelated church member over the age of 30 around children.

Things ARM could do and does not:

Educate SDA leadership on recidivism rates of convicted pedophiles. That's 6-39% depending on which study. https://psychiatryonline.org/doi/full/10.1176/ps.50.3.349
Educate SDA leadership on signs of CSA. https://www.stopitnow.org/help-guidance/online-help-center/adults-behaviors-with-children-and-youth
Implement a transparent policy wherein all parents, legal guardians are notified of convicted pedophiles attending church.

Furthermore, in a wishy-washy seven page document published by ARM titled “Sex Offenders In The Church A Legal Guide”, SDA leaders are told “Churches reach out simultaneously to the perpetrator and survivors of abuse” because Jesus.

The pastor is to have their church “prayerfully consider if the church can meet the needs of a sex offender”. If yes, the pastor is to play god and “determine who is and who is not truly repentant” by “talking to probation officers, observation, and other background data gathering”. https://adventistrisk.org/Adventist_Risk/media/ARMSiteContent/Safety%20Resources/English/GUIDE_SexOffendersInChurch_NAD-CAN-EN.pdf?ext=.pdf

and knowledge of God.

Translation: Adventists are god’s last true church. Proper Adventisting cures pedophilia, makes LBGTQ+ people cis straight, and heals all CSA survivors.

See: The Human Sexuality Task Force, an official anti-LBGTQ+ propaganda group of the SDA church.

When members employ these spiritual gifts as faithful stewards of God’s varied grace, the church is protected from the destructive influence of false doctrine, grows with a growth that is from God, and is built up in faith and love.

Translation: Proper Adventisting cures everything.

(Acts 6:1-7; Rom. 12:4-8; 1 Cor. 12:7-11, 27, 28; Eph. 4:8, 11-16; 1 Tim. 3:1-13; 1 Peter 4:10, 11.)

This is the collection of Bible verses that may or may not relate to this subject. This is the SDA church virtue-signaling to humans who believe the Bible is the literal authoritative word of god that Adventists totally follow the Bible.

End snark of belief 17.

Why The Gentle Author calls Ellen Gould White “the Adventist plagiarizing prophetess”: Test The Prophet first defines “plagiarism” using sources from the American Victorian Era. He shows original books published in the Victorian Era that Ellen White plagiarized from. Then he shows the these writings in Ellen White’s books, where she claims they were her visions from god. https://www.youtube.com/@TesttheProphet

Why The Gentle Author says Young Earth Creationism is pseudoscience: One can find an exhaustive list of Young Earth Creationism claims debunked here. http://www.talkorigins.org/indexcc/

I was taught about 80% of these claims as fact by the Adventist church. It continues to spread this pseudoscience as “real science” to tens of thousands of SDA students. This hamstrings their knowledge of reliable sources, critical thinking, value of peer-reviewed studies. It primes one to view anecdotes and conspiracy theories as valid “factual evidence”. This contributes to one falling for other pseudoscience, multi-level marketing scams, and actively harming themselves and their children by anti-vaccine and anti-science actions.

All prior Seventh-day Adventist beliefs, snarked:

Belief 1, “Holy Scriptures”, is snarked here:

https://talesfromacult.substack.com/p/adventist-belief-breakdown-belief

Belief 2, “The Trinity”, is snarked here:

https://talesfromacult.substack.com/p/adventist-belief-breakdown-belief-91e

Belief 3, “God the Father”, is snarked here:

https://talesfromacult.substack.com/p/adventist-belief-breakdown-belief-961

Belief 4, “God the Son”, is snarked here:

https://talesfromacult.substack.com/p/adventist-belief-breakdown-belief-0d8

Belief 5, “God the Holy Spirit”, is snarked here:

https://talesfromacult.substack.com/p/seventh-day-adventist-belief-breakdown

Belief 6, “Creation”, is snarked here: